


my heart is safe (you'll guard it with your life)

by CampClexa



Category: Runaways (TV 2017)
Genre: F/F, Fluff, a bit of jealous nico too, admission of feelings, g i r l f r i e n d s, protective!Nico, s o f t, sick!karolina, some guilt on her part bc omg ive been reading the new issue of the comics, they will love each other so well
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-11
Updated: 2018-01-11
Packaged: 2019-03-03 12:07:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,211
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13340931
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CampClexa/pseuds/CampClexa
Summary: "You make your way to the van, only to find that Karolina’s not where you left her. She’s supposed to be resting, and she’s not there. You feel cold sweat rise up your body, your face stunned, and you’re rooted in your place. “Karolina?” weakly, you call out, voice breaking at the last syllable."or: an alternative 1x10 deanoru scene nobody asked for. nico takes care of karolina, and vice-versa.





	my heart is safe (you'll guard it with your life)

**Author's Note:**

> i'm a mess, and this is what it looks like.
> 
> (title from My Arms Were Always Around You by Peter Bradley.)
> 
> PS. @marvelskarolina on tumblr made me do this

It’s a really hot day, of all days. You’re walking around the woods, looking for firewood, wishing that you had picked up some or any survival skill since it’s seemingly close to the end of the world—on second thought, it probably already is. _Started_ _by your parents,_ to note. You roll your eyes at that, and instead busy yourself with swatting away flies with your one hand and carrying sticks of wood on your other.

God, it sucked. You can’t help but wish everything’s back to the way they were—not that it was leagues better than how things are now. Some things are the same but somehow worse: Amy’s still gone, your parents are still evil mass murderers, Alex has still lied to you, and Karolina…

 _Well_. That’s something else entirely.

At the thought of the name, your heart involuntarily stops and starts racing. You shake your head in disbelief, thinking how you’re in this position at this time in your life. Impeccable timing.

Then you remember, you’d rather have this now, than not ever. You’d _almost_ lost her.

However unclear things may be, the only thing you can think of is how close you were to losing Karolina, how your first kiss could have been the last, and how you could’ve been left with all the what-ifs and your regrets. It’s so uncertain, yet it’s the most certain you’ve been in years.

With that thought, you make your way back to your “camp” site. Luckily, most of the leaves are thinned out and the spacing of trees sparse, that you could easily navigate through. You see Molly carrying much more wood than a fourteen-year-old could ever hope to carry in their lifetime, and smile at that but the pile of wood in your arms suddenly feel heavier and you drop them unceremoniously on the ground. You’re pretty sure it’s just the urgency to find Karolina. 

You make your way to the van, only to find that Karolina’s not where you left her. She’s supposed to be resting, and she’s not there. You feel cold sweat rise up your body, your face stunned, and you’re rooted in your place. “ _Karolina_?” weakly, you call out, voice breaking at the last syllable.

“Nico, what’s wrong?” your friends ask from a distance, alarmed.

“She’s—“ you pause, attempting to swallow your worry only to no avail. “She’s not here. Did anyone see her?”

You’re not sure if they even heard you, or if it’s you who didn’t hear them answering.

You look at the van again just to make sure you weren’t just being tricked by your own eyes, but she _really_ isn’t there. At that, you break into a sprint, running to the side of the van, looking this way and that for sight of golden hair.

It’s hard to see suddenly, with tears threatening to cloud your vision. You don’t think you’ve ever wanted to have your staff than you do now. But you don't have it, so—

“Karolina!” you call out again, the distress evident in it and you don’t even care.

It’s not what you expected to hear, but it’s something. You hear heaving, and you immediately follow the sound. There’s a downhill slope just a few feet from the van, and you descend slowly, careful not to fall all the way down to the bottom.

There, crouched on the ground, a head of golden hair and long arms clutching her stomach. “Karolina!” you shout, and you can feel yourself breathe again.

“Nico,” you hear Karolina’s frail voice as you rush your way to her. The relief that you felt earlier is replaced by a different sense of dread as you see her current state, still turned away from you, but undeniably is in pain.

You plop down on the ground beside Karolina, sweeping golden wisps from her face and trying to hold most of her hair back from her damp skin as she heaves again. She looks paler than she did earlier, the bags under her eyes had grown darker, a sheen of sweat visible on her face and exposed skin. You’re extremely lost at what to do next as you watch Karolina throw up the contents of her stomach—more food than she’s had in days, you’re sure of it. A million bad ideas run through your head: calling Leslie to ask what the hell they did to Karolina, how to make it better, or calling the Yorkes because they’re sort of, kind of are doctors and they’re really smart, or 911, or _anything_. They didn’t seem such bad ideas at that moment, and you’re so tempted to do all and any of them, but your eyes close shut because you _know_ you can’t.

But you _can’t_ do any of those things, and again, you don’t have your staff.

All you have is yourself. And your friends, too.

“Guys!” you shout frantically, as loud as you can without breaking Karolina’s eardrums, in the direction of the camp. “Can anyone bring me some water?”

You blow lightly onto Karolina’s skin to help her cool down, and she wipes her mouth before she turns to look at you. “I’m okay, Nico,” Karolina says as she grabs your hand that’s on her shoulder, the corner of her mouth pulling up into the most fatigued smile you’ve ever seen her give. 

“ _No, you’re not_ ,” you wanted to argue, but you can see how worn out Karolina is and think better of it. _What have they done to you?_ You want to ask her, because you’ll never be able to come up with the answers yourself. _I shouldn’t have left you for a second, shouldn’t have let Jonah get anywhere near you._

But, what could you have done? You don’t have powers without your staff. And, even then—

You let go of the hand holding Karolina’s hair and use it to rub up and down her back soothingly, as way of apologizing for failing her. You’ve let so many people down. Maybe you’ll have the energy and strength to actually say the words to her soon.

You’re broken out of your thoughts as you hear quick steps coming towards you, but you don’t dare look away from Karolina’s eyes, which are slightly duller than their usual blue right now.

“Here,” you hear Chase as he hands you the water bottle from behind.

“Thanks,” you mutter to Chase as you take it from him and unscrew the cap, then holding it up to Karolina’s mouth gently.

Karolina takes small sips of water and pulls away when she’s finished.

You let out a sigh of relief as you see some of the color coming back to her skin.

“Karolina, you okay?” Chase asks and you almost weren’t able to stop the rolling of your eyes. That question wasn’t really the best to ask, given that Karolina has expended all energy and her powers in one misguided fight to save everyone, has been held captive by her own parents in the prison of a church she’s always thought of as home, and who-knows-what-else Jonah did, and oh, yeah, throwing up everything more than she has had eaten in days. So, _yeah_ , Karolina’s obviously not okay.

But Karolina gives a nod in Chase’s direction, grateful, if only once. “Yeah, thanks.”

You’re still running a hand down her back, your other hand holding hers, and you give it a light squeeze to remind her you’re there to offer her anything, if she needed it. You’re here for her _now_. You’re here _now_.

Neither three of you say anything for a few stretched out seconds, nor move in your place. It’s starting to get awkward, and honestly a little annoying that Chase’s still hovering around.

You’re about to say something, you’re not even sure what—but thankfully, Chase breaks the silence first. “I’m gonna go get some more wood for the fire. Call if you need anything,” he announces before walking away, not even waiting for an answer. You feel a bit guilty for seeing his concern for Karolina as something else.

You let out the breath you didn’t know you’ve been holding, and you hear Karolina let out a quiet laugh. Your face lights up in reflex at the sound, and you look at her with a quirked eyebrow. “What?”

Karolina bites the side of her lower lip, seemingly trying to hide her amusement. She looks at the spot where Chase previously was, and then back to you, letting you know what she finds quite funny.

You may or may not feel a little heat on your cheeks and the tips of your ears, but you’re not going to admit to what Karolina’s accusing you of. Instead, you roll your eyes at her, though with a small smile from relief that she seems to be feeling better now, more than anything.

Again, you let out a relieved sigh, pushing back a lock of hair behind her ear and Karolina’s smile slowly fades away. “ _I’m okay_ ,” she repeats, softly, as though she’s been hearing your thoughts the whole time. “They didn’t hurt me,” tried she did to assure you, though her voice betrays her certainty.

There’s more than one way to hurt someone, and you know she knows it, too. So you just nod, unable to say anything because it amazes you how Karolina can possibly think you’re the one who needs comforting right now, after all that she’s been through. You can’t help but lean closer and place your forehead on hers, your eyes closed against the prickle of tears. “ _Okay_ ,” you whisper to Karolina, wrapping your arms around her firmly.

You’re content to stay that way for what seems like hours—your faces so close that you can feel her breath hitting your skin—before you feel more than hear her take a deep breath and deflate in your arms. You hold her tighter as she shifts her weight to lean on you for support. As much as you never want to move from this position you’re in with Karolina, you can feel her exhaustion seeping through her body. You lean away a little to look at her. “Maybe you should lie down. Rest some more.”

Karolina lets out a disgruntled sigh, and you chuckle quietly at that.

You carefully stand from the ground and hold out a hand to help Karolina up. You dust yourselves off first before you make your way back. You know Karolina’s walking just right beside you, her arm brushing against yours every step you take, but you still take her hand anyway. Karolina laces her fingers with yours.

 

x

 

You set up some blankets on the floor of the van, and use a pile of clothes as a pillow. The whole time, you can feel her eyes on you from her place leaned against the inside of the van.

Even heady with that knowledge, you still feel a little stunned when you look back at her. She _is_ looking at you, a quiet smile on painted onto her lips. All that, with the color of her eyes, the vibrant yellow of her hair—it’s all _so_ unfair. You unwillingly break contact with her eyes so as to shake yourself from your daze and tell her, “All set,” gesturing to the makeshift bed.

You turn your gaze to her again, catching her smile grow into a radiant one. “Thanks,” she murmurs as she starts to move to the spot.

“Sure,” you can only say, a bit flustered for whatever reason.

You haven’t even recovered when you hear an illicit groan from Karolina as she lies herself down on the bed. The image and the sound is more than enough reason for you to turn away and busy yourself with fixing up the discarded pieces of clothing on the van, willing the red on your face you can feel is there to disappear. 

You may or may not be a mess, but no one needs to know.

“ _Nico,_ ” Karolina mutters in an unsure, quiet voice.

“ _Yeah?”_ you answer just as quietly, only enough for her to hear.

She looks ready to fall into a slumber, but evidently bothered. You wait for her.

“ _Can you stay?_ ” she asks timidly, looking intently at the blanket her hands are fiddling with.

You’re probably taking a little too long to answer as the beating of your heart has drowned out any other sound for a moment, because Karolina eventually looks up at you, shy and brave at the same time. You can only nod in answer, and then carefully, slowly move to lie down beside her so as not to jostle her.

Karolina is on her back, looking up at the roof of the van, and you feel her body tense up and become rigid beside you. You immediately question if this was what she meant when she asked you to stay. You don’t know what to do. It’s not like you can ask—you _can_ , but— Karolina shifts on her side facing away from you and you feel your stomach drop in hurt and embarrassment, so you start to move away from her.

But then, Karolina turns her head to look at you and places a hand on your arm. “No, no,” she says hurriedly, apologetic. “I just—“ she stops, instead pulling at your arm to get you to lie back down.

Soon as your head is placed beside hers on the pillow, Karolina laces your fingers together, and places your arm around her waist. Her body instantly relaxes, and so does yours.

“Is this okay?” Karolina asks, careful.

You move closer to her body, tightening your hold around her as an answer. “More than,” you add, whispering into her hair. You only half-wish that she’s facing you, but this—holding her, and her letting you—is just as good, if not better.

Karolina’s breathing evens out in mere seconds, falling asleep, and you follow soon after.

 

x

 

You have lost concept of time as you wake unpleasantly from your slumber. Your face scrunches up as you feel your side aching from the hard metal floor of the van, it’s also a bit chilly, you can’t feel your right arm, and hair is tickling your face—

Your breath hitches as you remember, slowly. Your left arm is still placed around Karolina’s waist, and your face against her hair. As your eyes adjust, you notice that you’re not alone in the van anymore, and you suddenly want to remove your hold on Karolina.  But you remember that Karolina’s asleep, and that she needs it, so you’re not risking it. They all, most probably, have seen you two anyway. Who cares, right?

You’re not risking waking Karolina, but can’t help but lean your forehead against her back and tighten your hold around her waist. She was, _is_ , so brave.

You don’t want to move, and can’t fall back asleep, so you watch her sleep as you’re left alone with your thoughts. You really don’t want to think about it, but how could you forget? It only just happened. God, it could’ve turned out _so_ much worse. It could’ve ended very badly. You left her alone when she told you to go, and Jonah got to her. She could’ve d— You should have done something, even without your stupid staff. Where is it when you need it?

You haven’t even been able to talk about this—the two of you—whatever this is, but you _want_ it. You wanted to tell her how scared out of your mind you are, but you _want_ it.

You’re pulled from your stupor when you feel Karolina shift slowly, unsure, and searching.  She lets out a sigh as soon as her eyes find yours, but then they widen and she sits up slightly, hands cradling your face. “ _Hey, hey_ ,” she croons, and you feel yourself soften. “What’s wrong, Nico?”

You didn’t even realize you were crying until Karolina’s thumb wipes tears from your face. That was it. You couldn’t help but let out a sob, quietly as you tried, and lean into her touch. “I almost _lost_ you. I left you and—“ you say in a breath and you’re unsure if she could understand you through the tears. “I shouldn’t have.”

Despite tears in your eyes, you see her clearly in the dark space. Her blue eyes are glossy with her own tears and she’s shaking her head as she says, quietly yet firmly, “No. This is _not_ on you.”

You want to believe her, but it’s just been so much in such a short span of time. It’s all catching up to you now. Impeccable timing, you think, twice today. “ _Karolina_ ,” you say weakly, out of breath, “I could’ve lost you.”

Her brow furrows, pained, “I’m right here.” She pulls you into a tight embrace, one hand at the back of your head, the other around your waist. “I wouldn’t let him or anyone hurt you,” she whispers.

You pull back to cup her cheek because you can't stand not to, wiping away delicately at her tears with the pad of your thumb, and Karolina lets you. “What you did for us,” you start, sincere though a bit hoarse from the tightness of your throat. “It was epic.”

“Yeah,” she says sheepishly, voice low and smiling through her tears—she’s beautiful like this. And, always. “Well, what you guys did for me was pretty epic, too.”

And, you believe her.

“You should’ve run,” Karolina adds, chastising you a bit.

 _We did,_ you almost say. _But you came back for her,_ you remind yourself. Karolina is here now, her arms around you, and she’s safe. Here. Now.

“Some of us wanted to,” you tell her instead, begrudgingly.

“Not you,” she says knowingly, and the beating in your chest quickens.

You mirror the smile on her lips briefly and you shake your head. “Nope. Not me.”

The smile on Karolina’s face doesn’t fade even as she breaks away from your gaze and looks down. It’s too much and not enough all at once. You run your thumb across her lower lip before placing your lips around hers, and you’re safe. You kiss her slow, sure, because Karolina _has_ to know that you want this. You want _her_.

You nip on her bottom lip before breaking the kiss, but not pulling away. “I’m here,” you promise against her lips, your forehead against hers, “with you.”

Karolina lets out a breath and you wonder if she understood. When she places a hand against your neck before she kisses you, all thoughts cease, and you know she understood. “It’s more than enough,” she says into the kiss. You believe her, and you tell her so.

She uses her other hand placed on your jaw to tilt your head back and deepen the kiss. Everything is warm, from your lips, to the tips of your ears, to the back of your neck, as though you can feel her glow. _She’s everything_ , you think.

It’s not too long before you part because Karolina’s smiling too much for you to keep kissing.

You can’t even blame her. You’re smiling, too.

Her arms are around you, her smile pressed into your cheek, and she’s safe—you all are. Here. Now.

 

**Author's Note:**

> hope you liked it, hated it, or something!!!
> 
> come say hi to me at deanorux.tumblr.com, thanks! 
> 
> will love u fam for the kudos and/or comments


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